How To Fix The Movies

Part One Of Two

The U.S. movie theater box office has been in a very clear slump for nearly 2 years. This past summer, ticket revenues fell to $3.62 billion, their lowest level since 2001 and the estimated number of tickets sold, 541 million, was the lowest level since 1997, according to box office tracker Exhibitor Relations. Subsequently, there has been a lot of finger pointing from all corners- some blaming DVD's sales and ever more sophisticated home theater systems, some blaming the quality of the films themselves and "suits" overrunning whatever talent remains in Hollywood. While these are both valid points, for me the most glaring but easily fixed problem has been the moviegoing experience itself. As a former wage slave for several New Jersey movie theater chains in the late 80's/early 90's, I particularly have noticed many changes for the worse. Here are my suggestions to bring sanity back to the collective experience of sitting in the dark with strangers...



1. Lose The Ads- Yes, the recent proliferation of ads before movies do bring in extra revenue to an already slumping business. But, the practice is anything but fair. Many theater goers have to get to the movies early in order to get a decent seat. And unlike at home, this audience is stuck in their seats, a veritable "captive audience". We can't change the channel, we can't leave for fear of losing our seats, and the room is already dark, volume cranked so our attention is riveted to the screen, Clockwork Orange-style. Now, I have no problem with trailers for upcoming films. And commercials for movie-related products like Coke, Moviefone or tie-in video games are slightly less reprehensible. But, do I really need to see an ad for a sports car or perfume at this moment? Is this really their target audience? And what ever happened to talking with the people you came with? Some of us are out on dates or with friends and family and would rather chat than be bombarded with dumb ads. I say: let's bring back the vaudeville custom of booing loudly for the villains, and join me in booing the ads next time you're out at the movies! And whichever theater chain invented "the 20" (20 minutes of ads before the trailers) must be squashed!



2. Increase Usher Patrols- As an usher, I was expected to walk up and down the aisle of every theater, making sure no one was talking during the movie, had their feet up or was creating any sort of disturbance whatsoever. I also was checking to make sure the volume was fine, projection running smoothly and that the theater was comfortable. What has happened to this practice? Its suddenly every man for himself once the doors of the theater close. I never see anyone patrolling the theaters anymore. And coincidentally, people chatting loudly, answering phone calls, the volume being too low, bad projection and myriad other problems have increased. Granted, I do blame the audience for getting progressively more rude over the years (you're not at home, people- shut up!), and there seems to be some sort of perpetual arms race between chatting volume and movie volume. But, if there was an air of authority in the theater, someone who could stop a problem before it becomes big, it would make theatergoers much happier with the experience. People want to feel they are being looked out for, cared for in any sort of service industry. And the slight investment in time and minimum wage crewmen would pay off in dividends. Movie lovers go to the movies to watch the movie, not to be annoyed by the pack of teenagers behind you or having to dash out of the theater mid-movie to let them know the volume is too low.

to be continued...